Preparation

I have always thought preparation is very important, but for long I was not very good at it. Come what may, hurray spontaneity! In many cases it is better to start from a blank page, be open, to be able to ask your questions with honest curiosity, really don’t know what to expect. But after conducting dozens of interviews and client meetings you just get used to prepare and form some assumptions and stereotypes.

I know someone from my childhood, she said she amuses herself by trying to make up all possible scenarios of an event, the good, the better, the worst. She is quite creative, so no disillusionment. Also no surprises… J Although I am quite sure she had some despite all the brainwork.

Now I find myself making plans and todo lists, put down my ideas, start writing a blog… Sometimes I may seem worrying too much, I’ve just got a light feedback from a friend as I asked circa 15 questions regarding a weekend program. J

Anyways, in terms of getting to know yourself better, I have always found it useful to say expectations out loud, write down ideas, than forget into the action and afterwards compare the result, the experience, the emotions with presumptions. It is easy to gain a lotof joy and revelation this way. Aha-experience – aha, ahha, ahhhhhaaaaaa! J

And there are times I feel like I don’t need any expectations, it just kills intimacy. As does documentation to any buzz or experience. This is for instance why I don”t like taking pictures, in the zoo I like to watch the animals and not a camera objective. But I like to check the pictures later. Now a ‘photographer’ found me and took a snapshot of me.

Now I feel like a celebrity a bit, questions are coming from every direction in the late few weeks, I don’t even understand why… J (sarchasm) But now! I have been interviewed! One of my friends – I hope I can say that- was touched about my crazy idea and story very much a few days ago, and she just pings me on chat from Finland that she has an idea. She is Móni Csapó. Now after all this time it is hard to tell how we know each other, once we had a few beer and great talk in ELTE Holdudvar, and we have a common friend very close to both of us. I have recently asked her some technical questions about blogging, as she already has a nice one here:  Pack Your Luggage blog – recommended by me. J

And know we are in an inspirational spiral, all questions and answers and positive energy flowing around us. The point is, that besides my little writings here on the blog, she will also have an interview column – or a few posts in her blog in English with me. So this is it!

And this interest of hers, gave me a lot, I couldn’t stop research and reading on the topic and answering to her questions going deep in the night. Here you can read the interview, how she sees me, and connects to my path:

Part 1   Part 2   Part 3 - Móni thinks organic

Thank you a lot, Móni! :)

Rebirth

I start the blog as I always start to tell this new story of mine: suddenly.

My bio-adventure is starting now. Or is that life? Than it has started at my birth, or even before.

I think Coelho writes in one of his books:

Step 1: Take your personal story from the beginning of your life, or even your pre-history of your parents and ancestors

Step 2: Tell it to a total stranger as it is

Step 3: Repeat this as many times as you just can.

And you will leave your past behind and you remain there, only you bare and naked your soul as a newborn child.

Of course, we need our past. How could we be what we are without it? But let’s be honest, sometimes it is just pressure on us hiding the future or more important, our present.

One evening going home from work, I went through my personal story. 27 years (in this life) is not much, you are done with it in 25 minutes of public transportation. Of course you might seem silly shedding tears on the tram arriving to a sensitive part… J But yet I haven’t found the right time or opportunity to tell anyone. Yet.

I haven’t even realized and the decision was born inside of me: today my life takes a turn.

There are some turning points like this in our lives sometimes. They might occur every 7 year as they say our cells renew, but this as many things doesn’t happen from one moment to another.

Out of nothing you just think: ‘I should try this year keeping the 40 days of Lent before Easter.’ I am not particularly religious, I love meat and alcohol… (I can admit here in private J) And still….

Just the same as the idea of walking the pilgrimage of el Camino the Santiago (The St James way) came to my mind one day, or when I joined the Egyesek Youth Association and their program in Hollókő, or when community work and environmental thinking has started to interest me in University, or I found Organization Development and the Hungarian Organization Development Society, and have joined the organizing committee of the OD World Summit, or I have moved to the suburbs and got my dog, and got involved in volunteering or I crept through a tight hole in a cave on a potholing trip… (not sure You understand all, but feel free to google anything ;)) These things are all fantastic and has led me to my way, where I am now.

But you can go further back to a conversation with teachers you loved, or friends or randomly met Australian girls, or loves being fulfilled or not, or jumps being made despite of your deepest fears…

All of these experiences lead you to who you are and onto the way you are just stepping on. And for a moment you see yourself from the outside and all the good people and things and opportunities start to flow in your way.

Butterfly effect and Flow experience and all the thoughts that you have, and several million people have already thought and felt before you, more or less the same way as you do now. Maybe not exactly as you do, because I like to think that we are all in unity but all of us is unique.

And of course you always have a trigger for a behavior. I have just recently met a priest, who is also practicing in psychology. He is a phenomenon, witty, amusing, deep and warm. He said that usually our partner is the one drawing our attention to one or several of our weak points in our personal development. They are our mirrors, reflecting things that we are stuck on, and are not able to move forward. I don’t mind to overexplain this, I am sure all of You has his or her own example of possible outcomes. You grow and nurse these things inside, suffer, labor, cry and sweat it out, give birth to it, and hug it. And there you are, you yourself, a strong baby not crying but smiling. This is how it came to me in one of my dreams recently.

Most probably all my writings will resemble of me: full of emotions, might be confused, or thick or thin, or too much or too less, specific, or abstract, inspiring, depressing, straight or rumpled…

This one has also been writing itself, giving birth to itself through me. Usually I operate with my instincts, from the guts, this is how this worked out also.

Oh, and what really the topic of my blog will be, you ask? J

I have left my job and profession I have just started, and started to like and grow in it, I packed me and my dog and my life up and start a one year trip (as planned now) volunteering. I will be working on organic farms around Europe, and maybe the world and try to learn as much as I can about sustainable farming, living, getting to know nature as in plants, animals, people. You can read here all my funny, sad, reflective and ecological writings about my adventures from time to time and from places where electricity and internet finds me! J

Do you know the story of two fetus talking in the uterus? :D

Further inspiration you can find on the Inspiration tab, photos, recipies, ideas and further translation comming soon. As soon as possible. J

PS.: Thank you for all who are supporting me, helping, asking questions, criticizing, sharing, reading, and above all loving me!